Do you think of you mother-in-law in more as of a monster-in-law? Don’t worry; you are not alone. Here are some tips to help keep your relationship on good terms.

First, change your perspective. You are both adults, so you can communicate with her like an adult. If something she does or says bothers you, figure out why and voice your concerns with her. She may not agree, or like what you are saying, but she will respect you for sharing your thoughts with her.

Be sure to communicate assertively. If you and your hubby are leaning towards something she doesn’t like, tell her that you appreciate her concern but that you are sticking to your decision. She will have to learn to accept the fact that she is no longer in charge of making her son’s decisions. It may take some getting used to, but she will come around to understanding that it is yours and her son’s life, not hers.

In addition, set reasonable boundaries. There are some things that you can’t control, but there are other things you can. If she is always calling you and asking to come over, you can tell her that now is not a good time. You don’t always have to “Yes, Dear” her just to please her. Setting boundaries will help protect your marriage.

Finally, know that it is okay to have your mother-in-law be upset with you. Don’t feel like you have to make every decision based on what she wants. She may be upset for a bit, but she will get over it. If you voice your boundaries, wants, and needs, she will completely understand your reasoning and she can learn to respect you and your wishes.

Mother-in-laws can be a handful. Just know that when you marry the man, you marry his family. For better, or for worse, his mother is family. If you are committed to working everything out, the two of you will be able to develop a respectable relationship.